Like Dumbledore
by CrayolaBox16
Summary: Kurt Hummel's sixth year in Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardry. NOT A CROSS OVER. This was written in the hype of HP7 coming out. A Two-Shot. Pink here!


WOOO! Felt like writing a two shot soo…yeah! I wrote this due to the fact that HARRY POTTER SEVEN PART ONE JUST RELEASED! DANCE WITH ME!

**To Harry Potter Fans: This fic was based between the marauders era and the Harry Potter era.**

**Not a cross-over, don't worry the ending will make it all make sense. **

Disclaimer: I don't own anything here.:D

* * *

Kurt Hummel, in the middle of his sixth year in Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was incredibly and undoubtedly tired. Not to mention pissed.

It had only been their first few months back in the magical school and already Kurt wanted cry with the amount of homework given to the NEWT students. Their new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher; (Hogwarts seem to have a habit of getting rid of DADA professors after a year) Professor Reyes, seemed to be hell bent into torturing all the sixth years since their first meeting. (Although Kurt did set of a rather gigantic dung bomb outside his room but to his defense it was Finn's idea and he merely went along with it) Professor Snape, the foulest, meanest and most loathsome teacher and their professor in potions appeared to grow more distaste towards their batch during the summer (something Kurt thought was impossible) and dumped them piles of homework AND deducted twenty points from Gryffindor because Kurt whispered Mike, his fellow sixth year from Hufflepuff, to pass the knife. Professor Flitwick assigned them ten incredibly complicated spells to master nonverbally and to top it all off, Professor McGonagall assigned them TWO one thousand word essays on the laws of complex transfiguration.

_Great_, Kurt thought, _just great._

After the tiring day, All Kurt wanted to do was to grab a few winks in the common room before he started on homework. But apparently even that was not given to him. All because of stupid Noah Puckerman.

Honestly, Kurt was just walking outside the castle, minding his own business when fat assed Puckerman nearly ran him over

"Watch your step, Mudblood" The Slytherin sneered from behind him.

_Just walk away, Kurt. Just walk away._

"Look at him" Puck said to his band of Slytherin buddies when Kurt started to walk away. "Pathetic little Mudblood can't even fight back"

"That's it!" Kurt snapped, whipping around to face him. He swiftly raised his wand and at the same time Puck raised his.

Puck smirked "Bring it on, Mudblood"

"_EXPELLIARMUS!"_

"_STUPEFY!"_

Their spells hit each other's midway, causing a large golden spark to erupt. A few of the small sparks hit the ground but a huge one hit the statue of Merlin, causing it to blow up into flames. Everyone who was outside watched as the figure crumble into flames, including Professor McGonagall.

"_Aguamenti_!" She said and instantly water came out of her wand and stopped the fire. "_Reparo_" The statue immediately began to reassemble itself. Then she walked to the pair, she was so red Kurt wanted to laugh. Bu as soon as she loomed over them, the feeling quickly died away.

"My office" She said through gritted teeth "Now"

As soon as they all sat down, the two exploded

"I wasn't my fault, Professor! See, Noah…"

"He started it! He can't control…"

"Enough!" She said, the complaints quickly died down. "Now, I don't care who started it or for what absurd reason. I just want you two every night in detention, including weekends and holidays for the next four months for destruction of school property and immature behavior."

"THAT CAN'T BE! PROFESSOR! YOU MUST RECONSIDER!"

"NO FREAKING WAY PROFESSOR!"

"Yes freaking way, Mr. Puckerman. So I want you two in my office, starting tomorrow, seven at the dot. Do I make myself clear?"

_Grumble, grumble_

"I said, do I make myself clear?" She asked in a louder and icier tone

"Yes, Professor"

"Good" And with a flick of her wand, opened the door. "Now go, before I make it five months."

"This is your fault, Mudblood" Puck said as they walked down the corridor together

"How is it my fault, Puckerman? You started the whole thing"

"Well, I didn't cast the first spell now did I?"

"You pushed me!"

"Please! I wouldn't touch your Mudblood filled body with a thirty foot pole even if everyone in the world gave me a billion galleons"

"Oooooh," Kurt said sarcastically "I'm soooo offended. Please wait here while I cry a bucket of tears"

"Hahahaha. Die in a fucking fire"

"Omigosh" Kurt said, faking a dumb blonde voice "Like, you too!"

Puck saluted him with the middle finger and walked off to the Slytherin dungeons.

The problem with Puckerman started in the first year, when Kurt caught Puck trying to hex him. Puck never admitted it but Kurt always knew. And so their mutual distaste for each other grew and grew to what it is now; merciless, guiltless and cruel-filled hatred. Not that Kurt minded

Kurt silently walked down the corridor, half dragging, half carrying his bag.

"Boazart" He said to the portrait-door. It swung open, revealing the Gryffindor common room. He plopped down on the overstuffed arm chair by the fire, letting his eyes drop a bit. Until, of course, Artie Abrahams poked him awake.

"Dude, you okay?"

"Yeah" Kurt yawned "Just a bit tired. Got detention for the next four moths 'cause of Puckerman"

Artie didn't look the least bit surprised. "Whadya do now?"

"Set Merlin on fire"

"That's new"

"Meh. Anyway, I'm about to hit the sack, you coming?"

"Yeah" he said wheeling himself at the end of the stairs that magically turned itself into a ramp.

Artie, like Kurt, is a muggle born. He didn't even know he was a wizard until he was ten, two years after his cruel accident. His parents visited every healer but they all said the same thing; it was too late. Artie didn't mind though, he got out okay.

* * *

**DAY ONE**

With each passing hour the next day, Kurt grew agitated, dreading as every subject finished, getting closer to his detention with Puck. At five thirty, when the last bell rang calling for diner, Kurt was already contemplating on running away from Hogwarts.

"Relax, Kurt" Tina said from the Ravenclaw table. She and Kurt grew close seeing as they shared a compartment during their first ride on the Hogwarts express. "He probably won't kill you with McGonagall there"

"That's really reassuring, Tina" He said sarcastically as he tried to eat his dinner with an unbelievably dry throat.

"She's only kidding, Kurt" Mercedes, his fellow Gryffindor said. "And please, He and Kurt would probably be filled with too much sexual tension they wouldn't be able to finish any work"

"Harharhar" Kurt said "really helpful guys"

"Oh, C'mon Kurt" Tina said "We're only trying to relax you"

"It's working; really, I feel so much at ease now"

Kurt tried to finish as much homework as he can before his muggle watch ring for the alarm he set. Unfortunately, there wasn't many. When his watch chimed at 6:45 Kurt grudgingly got up from the common room and dragged himself to Professor McGonagall's office.

When he arrived, Puck was already there, slouched on a chair.

"Nice of you to finally join us, Mr. Hummel" The professor said with a note of impatience in her voice. "You and Mr. Puckerman will be doing some manual labor so please deposit your wands on my desk."

"Good" She said when they placed it there "Now come with me."

She led them to a narrow hallway, passed the trophy room into a dead end with a door sized of a broom cup board.

"In" She ordered.

_Shit,_ Kurt thought

There was nothing tiny about the room. The size of the room itself was probably half the dining hall. The walls were covered with shelves and shelves of trophies of all shapes and sizes.

"This is Hogwarts _extended_ trophy room. Most of these awards were too absurd for public viewing. I want every trophy here cleaned and shined. If you do not finish tonight, you will continue tomorrow. Questions?"

"None, Professor"

"Good, I shall return at ten" the door tightly closed, then silence.

"So…" Kurt said "I'll take this shelf and you'll get the other?"

"Whatever"

They worked in a deafening silence, Kurt could practically _hear_ the seconds pass by.

_Let the torture begin_

Those four hours were the longest hours Kurt ever spent in his entire life. As each second passed, a part of Kurt died a little in silence. When Professor McGonagall arrived to tell them their dismissed, Kurt felt like kissing her.

_One day down, a fucktillion to go._

_

* * *

_

**DAY TWO**

Puck was sprawled on the floor of the floor of the trophy room when Kurt saw him the next night for detention.

"Puck?" a bewildered Kurt said, forgetting he was mad at the Slytherin boy and approached him cautiously. "Have you been drinking?"

"Ah, Kurt, my old chap!" Puck said in a grand voice. "Have a seat, Have a seat!" He then offered a spot on the floor right next to him.

"Are you drunk?"

"Well, I may have nipped a few bottles of firewhiskey down by the kitchens, just two bottles…or five…nine…ANYWAY! I have something to tell you. Come closer, my good man"

Kurt shot him a look but leaned in closer, he could feel Puck's breath on his ear.

"I apologize" Puck whispered

"What?"

"For all the things I've done to you in the past couple of years"

"Wow" Kurt said as he leaned back "You are drunk"

"That may be but I still want to apologize"

"Uhm, Thanks?" Kurt said "I like drunken you, very formal"

"The drunken me likes you too, my boy! Now what do you say we take out jamboree somewhere else?"

"What?"

"Oh, what do you kids call it these days? Skip this shindig, I think"

"What if we get caught?"

"Pishposh! What's life without any adventure?"

"But we should really get some work done"

"No one will notice no work was done. Come one old chap! I've never seen Hogwarts at night"

"But-but-but-fine" Kurt said, realizing there's no point in arguing with drunken/dapper Puck "But we have to be back before McGonagall comes back okay, Puck?"

"Alright but stop calling me by that name; Puck" He gave a little shudder and continued "It's so vulgar. Call me by my given name; Noah"

"Noah?"

"Yes, the origin comes from the story of Noah and the Ark. A riveting tale really. Anyway, best be going"

Puck was surprisingly sturdy while he was drunk. He opened the door and poked his head outside.

"No one's there" He whispered loudly, losing the point of whispering really.

Kurt walked to Puck, who took his hand.

_This'll be one hell of a night._

Noah's first stop was the painting of fruits by the basement.

"Noah, where are we?"

"The kitchen"

"I've never been to the kitchens before"

"Oh, it's quite simple really" he said positioning himself in front of the pear and raised his hand "One must find the perfect position"

He started to tickle the pear, which quickly turned into a door knob

"Oh"

"I like that sound, the sound of your astonishment, quite melodic" prim Puck said as he was opening the door. And for some reason Kurt did _not_ want to identify, he blushed.

* * *

The pair got a picnic basket from the house elves and went outside, by the lake. They sat by the roots of the big oak tree, the giant squid lazily waving its tentacles as they threw food at it.

"Kurt, May I inquire something?"

"Yeah, sure"

"Why don't you go out into paired social events?"

Kurt tensed up a bit "Dating?"

"Yes"

"Not my thing"

"Why not? I see women practically bowing down at your feet"

"Not my type"

"Extraordinarily stunning is not your type?"

Kurt signed _It's not like he's ganna remember it tomorrow. _"Girl isn't my type"

"What?...Oh! Oh!" Puck leaned off the part of the tree trunk he was practically lying down on and sat very close to Kurt, so close Kurt could practically _feel_ the heat and alcohol radiating off of him. Puck then grabbed the back of his head; Kurt eyes grew but didn't pull back. Every call of his brain screamed at him to run away but it seems as though all his muscles froze solid. Puck's lips met Kurt's. It wasn't deep and passionate as Kurt's brain hoped (?) and dreaded. It was slow and soft. As though Puck was afraid he would break the Gryffindor boy.

Puck broke off, a smirk plastered across his face.

"Ah-Uhm-Uhm-Mm" It seemed impossible for Kurt to create comprehendible sounds, his eyes were wide and unblinking.

Puck was totally unbothered by the kiss and sat back straight, returning to his original spot.

"So you are like the head master then" Puck said

"What?"

"You are like Professor Dumbledore"

Kurt practically forgot everything that happened when he exclaimed "Dumbledore is gay?"

"Oh yes! You did not?"

Before Kurt could reply, his muggle watch rang.

"Crap! Its fifteen minutes before McGonagall says we gatta go back"

"Fine" Puck was unstable when he stood up. "Wow" he said grabbing Kurt's hand to steady himself "You seem to have duplicated yourself."

Kurt glanced at their interlocked hands and gulped. Not the time.

He nearly dragged Puck back to the trophy room, getting him inside just in time.

"You may leave" McGonagall said to the pair, giving them back their wands as she did the previous night.

"Fantastic!" Puck said as he was walking out "Have a wonderful evening, Professor."

Professor McGonagall merely shot him a look and walked away, in the complete and opposite direction Kurt and Puck was going.

Not more than five steps into the hallway and Puck passed out cold.

"Shit" Kurt muttered

"_Wingardium Leviosa_" He said, Puck's body slowly lifting up.

"Shit. Uhm okay, where to go? Gryffindor Common room? No, people will kill me while I sleep. Slytherin Common room?...Where is that anyway? ROOM OF REQUIREMNETS!"

Kurt dashed to the seventh floor, Puck's body bobbing above him.

'_I need a place to spend the night'_ he chanted in his head as he encircled the room three times. And then by the third round a shiny door appeared and Kurt went right in.

Every time Kurt used the room it was always different. This time when Kurt used it, the wallpapered walls were bare, two beds were right in the middle of the room but there was barely a gap between them. One bed had a Gryffindor bed sheets and the other had Slytherin bed sheets.

"Thank you" Kurt whispered to the room, as though it can hear them.

Kurt lowered Puck's body in the Slytherin bed and his own on the Gryffindor one.

What is wrong with me? GOD! I spend one night! ONE NIGHT! And already he forgave about six years of torment for a drunken apology! What the hell?

Kurt flipped over, blocking out the images of just a few hours ago.

What the fuck?

Kurt felt like he only slept for a few seconds when he woke up with the sound of puking.

"A wonderful sound to wake up in" Kurt muttered as he glanced at Puck, who was puking at the foot of his bed. Kurt transfigured a can lying on the ground into a bucket and sent it under Puck, who muttered thanks and continued to empty his stomach.

Kurt stretch his limbs and walked around the room, making it look like it was perfectly normal to wake up at ten in the morning in a Saturday while a guy you hated all your life but drunkenly apologized so now you think you two are okay but you're not sure sooo…

"What happened last night?" Puck asked as he slumped back on the bed, he lazily flicked his wand, emptying the bucket.

Oh, nothing. You just successfully stole my first kiss. No big deal. "Nine bottles of firewhiskey. At least, that's what you told me."

"I gatta stop visiting the kitchens" Puck muttered

"Yes, you do, Noah. Yes you do"

"Noah? Crap! I didn't go dapper on you, did I?"

"Amusing really" Kurt said, smirking

"Craaaap" Puck laughed, or at least, he tried to seeing as he puked mid way

"Beautiful way to start the morning" he said as he looked at his acquaintance with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry" he said shooting a puke stained smile to Kurt before continuing to barf.

There are many ways one can became friends with his long time enemy. As Kurt found out that say, spending a night with your drunken enemy who said sorry and stole your first kiss all in one night is apparently also a way.

Day ten

"Hey Hummel" Puck called from the far side of the room

"Yeah?"

"Help me reach that" Puck said pointing at the sole trophy twelve feet above them.

"Why don't you use wandless magic or something?"

"Yeah, I haven't been trying that for the last ten minutes. Nooooo!" he said sarcastically

"Okay then" Kurt said turning around and starting to walk away

"Fine! FINE! I'm sorry for the sarcasm"

"What's your plan then?"

"Well…"

"I swear Noah if you drop me I will Avada Kedavra your ass" Kurt said through gritted teeth

"Calm down" Puck said "I'm the one getting stepped on"

Puck was carrying Kurt by his feet, putting the smaller boy up the shelves so he can push himself up the ledge.

"Up you go" Puck said, pushing him higher. Kurt reached and hoisted his body up.

"My God" Kurt thought "When was the last time any living creature was here?"

There was a clear five inches of dust on the walls of the shelf, cobwebs were all over it.

"There you are" Kurt thought in his mind, he didn't want to open his mouth for the fear of dust going into his mouth.

Kurt struck his head out and shouted to Puck "Noah! I'm about to throw it down"

"Eileen Prince, Gobstones Team Captain, 1941" Kurt read in his mind.

"Incoming" Kurt shouted with his head out. Puck caught it swiftly and placed it down. He then stretched his hands at Kurt and smirked "You're turn"

Kurt gulped and closed his eyes 'Someone_ will catch you'_ he repeated in his mind and jumped off.

Puck caught him bridal style. Their faces were a mere centimeters away from each other.

"Er" Kurt said getting flushed "Thanks"

"No problem" Puck said his voice dry.

Puck let him down and Kurt walked away. His cheeks flaming.

It took Kurt three weeks and a half to finish the whole room. So when they entered Professor McGonagall's office to hand over their wands, she made them take a seat.

"I checked the room and it seems that you have already finished. Good, your next assignment will be assisting Hagrid in the Forbidden Forest. You shall need your wands. Now go"

"Ther' 'yer are" Hagrid said gruffly by the entrance of the forbidden forest " Yer' ganna be helpin' me look fer' these" he then held up a couple of slivery white strings

"Are those unicorn tails?"

He nodded "Yeh just gotta pick 'em up from the branches"

Puck and Kurt nodded once and walked into the forest.

"I thought this would be exciting: Puck said as they were walking through the forest.

"Sorry" Kurt said sarcastically "Next time I'll get out the giant spiders"

They walked close together, their arms brushing each other's.

There was suddenly a noise coming from their far left, they lifted their wands at arm's length and clasp their hands together.

Puck turned his head to see a horde of Centaurs passing by. Puck could feel Kurt tense up.

"Calm down" Puck whispered to him "There far"

"It's not that I'm worried about" Kurt said, facing the complete opposite direction Puck was facing. Puck spun around to see a group of pixies encircling them.

"Crap" They said. Before they could cast a freezing charm, the pixies took hold of their wands and tied it to the tree.

"How long do you think we'll stay here before someone would find us?" Kurt asked nonchalantly

The pixies took the unicorn tails from them and tied the pair to a tree, face to face.

_Hogwarts is such a magical place._ Kurt though sarcastically trying to move his face away from Puck, catching his lips on the way. Neither of the two moved from the kiss. They deepened it, placing six years of unresolved sexual tension into the kiss. Hoping, praying that Hagrid doesn't find them.

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